On Thursday’s episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast, the Sports Guy discussed the Celtics’ plans for the 2024 NBA Draft, in which the defending champions lay claim to the No. 30 pick. And rather than taking a prospect who would likely be stashed overseas, Simmons suggested his favorite team select James — and not because he has high hopes for the former USC guard on the court.
“Here’s my case: everybody says this draft sucks. The Celtics are so deep… anyone in this draft isn’t going to play for them,” Simmons said. “Why not take Bronny and you basically hold him ho(redditfilter)ge? Because all these other teams want him, right?”
“No, I’m saying for the asset,” The Ringer founder continued. “The Lakers, you want him? Well we took Bronny, give us Max Christie. How bad do you want him? I would say Bronny the asset at 30 as a trade thing is worth more than anyone they could get here.
This is Ben Affleck saying, ‘I just won for Argo, I’m going to be Batman.’ We have the title won, now we’re taking Bronny James! LeBron beat us in our last four playoff series against him, we’re taking your son!”
“It’s like Taken,” Simmons added, furthering the bit. “‘LeBron, we have your son.'”
Bill's thoughts on LeBron in 2003:
4:36 — Quote from Mike Tirico: “There (LeBron) is with his Mom, Gloria. Gloria sacrificed a lot. Gave birth to LeBron when she was 16 … on their own at 19, living on assistance, food stamps, and now here they are … it’s a great American story.”
(What about parents who stayed together, worked hard, provided for their children and put them through school? Since when did not practicing birth control and lucking out because of DNA become a “sacrifice”? I’m confused. Let’s just move on.)
Source: https://grantland.com/features/nba-draft-diary-2003-bill-simmons/
by aingenevalostatrade
41 Comments
LeMaineCeltic
Idk if Simmons saw the movie “Taken”, but things didn’t go well for those that took the child
Technically every player who gets drafted is drafted against his will, that’s why it’s called a draft
Lebron with Bill Simmons after The Celtics draft Bronny
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izxkFm060yU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izxkFm060yU)
Bill Simmons people have been hitting r/NBA with this garbage for a while. This subreddit is botted to hell.
I didn’t think the discourse about Bronny could get any worse…
Bill “The Priest” Simmons.
LeParticularSetofSkills
Dude wants the Celtics to take Bronny hostage as payback for Bron torturing the celtics when he was in the East, that’s some maniacal shit lmao
Bill Simmons is so creepy
People taking this serious lmao this is funny af
Wow.. what is even that last sentence?
>(What about parents who stayed together, worked hard, provided for their children and put them through school? Since when did not practicing birth control and lucking out because of DNA become a “sacrifice”? I’m confused. Let’s just move on.)
Wow I never even knew he said this, welp never engaging with any of Bill’s shit again, thanks for illuminating this OP. Should be posted every time anything related to BS gets posted, this shit is overtly racist.
The Irish guy is the one who saves his taken child, not the other way around.
Bill got it wrong.
ITT : idiots that don’t understand sarcasm
Imagine taking this obvious joke proposal to highlight how dumb the bronny discourse has gotten seriously. It’s okay, you can laugh. It’s funny.
Also that 2003 quote is spot on, rude as hell but the point is mostly one against Tirico’s bullshit and in that sense very valid
Haha LeHostage
Does Reddit filter not allow hostage? What?
As if Lebron doesn’t hate Boston already
We were so spoiled with a decent stretch of Boston/New England teams not winning that we lost sight of just how fucking horrible their fans are
You guys are the worst lol
While Simmons is trying to be funny here, it’s an interesting idea to draft him before the Lakers in order to either get LeBron or to get a haul from the Lakers.
Brad Stevens has a chance to do the funniest thing.
I can actually see the Lakers trading ahead of the Celtics just because they’re worried this might happen.
lol this is the perfect BS hot take. He just spewing BS on his dadpod and people will get upset. The lowkey fun of the BS pod is hearing Bill’s takes. The highkey fun is when he’s miserable when Boston sports suck. I’ve always seen him as my drunk uncle who knows a lot about basketball but who also has some hilarious takes and ideas.
I can’t tell what tone this post is meant to be, but it’s way too crazy for first thing in the morning.
LeNeeson
Why does Bill Simmons talk like a guy whose key character trait would be described as “Cocaine”?
>What about parents who stayed together, worked hard, provided for their children and put them through school? Since when did not practicing birth control and lucking out because of DNA become a “sacrifice”? I’m confused. Let’s just move on.
He really said this in 2003? What an ass lmao
LeAm Neeson
I mean the Celtics might actually put together a championship team for him and not dismantle it entirely immediately after they get the chip….
Oh no Bron has to join the reigning champs on a vet min in order to play with his son! Oh the horror!!!
Normally I don’t agree with Bill Simmons but for the lulz, broke clock twice a day etc
I could see Ainge doing it but not Stevens.
He also said Kyrie Irving was overrated in this pod. He was still drunk after that Celtics win I see
This was clearly said as a joke
Y’all are crazy this quote was said so jokingly on the pod
Simmons first funny take in like 10 years
Can you not say hostage on Reddit?
lmao is there really a filter on h*stage? I weep for the future of the internet.
Celtics to Lebron: “Lebron for your past sins unto house Celtic you shall surrender your first born child as a means to prove fealty, he can squire for Lord Tatum, he’ll be well taken care of, and may haps one day become an all-star”
God it’s a good bit but yeah Bill Simmons has been so personally vile to Lebron and his family over the years it’s cringe to put it all together.
1. Above comment playing into racial undertones about black teen moms too
2. Bill Simmons suggested to LeBron’s team that he make his 2010 free agency decision on ESPN. Lebron does and sets it up as a fundraiser. Everyone hates it. Bill “I can’t help but wonder why he thought this was a good idea. Is it because he didn’t have a father”.
3. I’m going to kidnap bronny
Oh wait #1 is apparently Mike turico. Well that’s embarrassing. Gross mike